With physical copies finally in my hands and with the help of my amazing friends and family, Till The Heavens Burst launched yesterday!

I know what you’re thinking. “Till The Heavens Burst launched months ago, I remember the blog post, it’s still up, I can go read it. Actually you’ve linked it, you hyperdork.” Fair points, although a little harsh. What I mean is we had an official launch for the book, at a library, IRL, with a reading and questions and everything.

It was great.

I’m gonna let you in on something though. I was very reluctant to do this. I’m not much of a salesperson. I mean I can ring up a till and I can tell you a thing’s qualities, but I’m not really a salesperson. Blake from Mitch and Murray would tell me I’m not allowed coffee, because coffee is for closers and then he’d call me a son-of-a-bitch. Also a little harsh, to be honest.

Despite knowing, deep down, that it’s not real, I still casually believe in the idea of a ‘meritocracy’ where the cream will rise to the top on the strength of its own greatness. And I believe I write great things, so I think ‘eh, people will see it anyway’. So in my mind, it’s enough to write something great and to put it out into the world.

This is, of course, patently false. And I know it’s false. Advertising, not quality, rules the world. Marketing is king. On a long enough timeline, sure, quality should eventually get its day in the sun, but if you want to see success in the here and now, marketing is the key to victory. But for some reason a big part of me still believes it’s enough to do great work. Everyone has gaps in their game, has weaknesses.

I used to play Quake 3 Arena a lot. I was pretty competitive. Probably among the best in Australia, though a far cry from being the actual best. And I knew I had weaknesses. One in particular was very troubling—I could land a mid-air rocket on a person heading out to the Railgun on Q3DM17 (Everyone’s favourite The Longest Yard) but if someone crouched when we were dueling, I would miss them every time.

It wasn’t the hitbox, of course. There was no benefit to landing headshots in Quake 3, so most shots went into the lower centre mass anyway. The problem was that crouching arrested a player’s movement, and I would aim for where they were going to be—and they would no longer be in that location.

I could go on about how this particular hole led me to understand other major weaknesses in my Quake playing ability (and to understand how esports pros compete at a high level in a wide array of sports) but that’s not what I’m here for. Instead, let’s talk through how I rectified this mistake of mine.

I got my friends and family to help. I would duel against them, they would crouch a lot, and I managed to wean myself off predictive aiming and onto reactive aiming.

You need to see something is a problem to want to fix it, however, which is why I was reluctant to do a book launch in the first place. Because I didn’t see my absent salesmanship as a problem.

That’s why I’m very lucky to have friends family like Nathan Lawrence and Fiona Herron, who took it upon themselves to organise the Till The Heavens Burst book launch for me. Drew Browne organised the photographer too, hiring Zoom in with Eden to take about a thousand pictures. We booked a room in the Five Dock Library (my local, I’ve been to some author chats at it), Nathan did an introduction, I spoke for a little bit about the book and then I read from the book.

I took some questions, I did a signing. It was awesome. A lot of my games critic friends showed up, and it should come as no surprise that games critics ask some excellent questions. I’ve just never been on the other side of those questions

Looking back at it, I think the hurdle I needed to overcome was believing I was worthy of this sort of thing? Which is odd, right, because I think my book is great and I think it’s worth reading, and I think people will enjoy it. But the book launch was about me as much as it was about the book, and I guess the glowing praise I assign my book doesn’t always make its way to me as a person.

I’m hardly the first person to think their child deserves the world while they deserve nothing, though.

Anyway, I’m very glad I did it. And I’m very grateful I have so many wonderful people around me.

Having done it, I know next time it will be easier, and I’m grateful I got a push to do it. For now though, I could really use a coffee, so here’s my attempt at closing. Why don’t you buy a copy of my book?

Speaking of Till The Heavens Burst, the first four chapters are available now, read by me, for you to listen to! I’ll embed it here, so you can listen.

For a writing update, I’m doing a review of Citizen Sleeper 2 that will go up alongside the embargo tomorrow morning. I’m also reviewing Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, but its embargo isn’t until next month. Work on the next series has been a little slow—I always forget what a clusterfuck of a month January is. But it’s on its way. I have a few short stories I want to wrap up while I continue to chart the details of the first book, those should be ready by next month.

Games wise I’ve been playing the games listed above. I’ll link the reviews on this blog, but you can, as always, hear my unfiltered thoughts over at The GAPodcast alongside my PIC Luke. I’ve also been enjoying a VR game called Breachers, a mix of sorts between Counter-Strike and Rainbow Six Siege. It’s a lot of fun.

I watched Wicked part one and I was surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. It’s not that I don’t generally like musicals, I think I just don’t much care for the ‘schoolyard rivalry’ tale typically. But the acting was great, the songs were great and it was visually fantastic. I kind-of regret not being able to watch Part 2 already. I assume when it does release I’ll watch both parts together.