I went to Japan at the end of last year and my main takeaway is that I would very much like to live in Japan. I know everyone gets that way when they come back from holidays, they’ve got the holiday high of wistfully thinking back to how much fun they had and how good a time it was without taking into account the fact that holidays are not real life, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

First of all, this was not one of those relaxing holidays where you slug life your way from one cool thing to the next. My wife and I put together a frankly crazy list of things to do and we dragged my brother, my sister-in-law and my niblings to a whole host of different things. We were doing 22,000+ steps a day on average. Across 12 days we covered more than 3000 kilometres. It was amazing fun and I’ll cherish the memories forever, but it was exhausting.

We did stay one night at a Ryokan in a room that had its own open-air bath though, that was pretty relaxing.

But I guess what I’m saying is it’s not a holiday high thing. I also understand that the Japan you see when you’re on holiday isn’t the one you get when you live there. I’ve got friends who lived there, and I know it’s very different once you see behind the veneer of politeness that is paid to all generally respectful tourists.

Hear me out though, would it be much worse than being in Australia? Right now, literally as I write this, my dickwad upstairs neighbours are hosting an AFL game or something in their apartment where they installed bongo drums instead of carpet on their floor. Every step anyone takes up there is a percussion blast through my entire place. That’s not even a thin veneer. That’s just straight up ‘I don’t give a fuck about the people below me’. And I know there are inconsiderate pricks in Japan. There are shit people everywhere. But you haven’t heard the second part of my reasoning.

I don’t speak Japanese. So if they’re being shitty to me, eh, it doesn’t matter. I don’t speak Japanese anyway. I wouldn’t understand it. They’d have to do some charades to send their message, and I could just look away. Now you might be thinking “not speaking the language seems like a downside” but you’re wrong. I have google translate. Nobody is going to google translate something nasty. They’re just gonna answer my questions.

Meanwhile, the upsides are ridiculous. Food is crazy cheap over there. Beer? Get out of here. The price of beer is a fraction of what it is here. My rent would also be cheaper in Tokyo than it is here in Sydney.

And I wouldn’t be facing the constant existential threat of one day snapping and murdering the people who live upstairs from me.*

It’s all upside.

As you can see, I’ve put a lot of thought into this. But it will never happen. I’m Australian. I love living in Sydney. It gives me so much to complain about. And if there’s anything Australians love, it’s complaining about things and doing nothing at all to fix them.

Games

On to other things. I played and finished Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown. It’s a pretty good metroidvania, but it’s not the best. I’d say the easiest way to think about it as a game is Hollow Knight exploration and combat with Dead Cells mobility. That’s pretty much the sweet spot for me, as I thought Hollow Knight was a little awkward to control (although once I got into it I was all the way in). And Dead Cells is amazing, but it doesn’t have the depth of something like Hollow Knight.

I chose those two games because they’re among the most recognisable in the genre, outside of the namesake titles. If you haven’t played either of them, I’d strongly recommend both, and if you have played them and you’d like something similar but a little different, check out Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights, one of the best games of 2021 that, if I’m being honest, really falls apart right at the end. Blasphemous is another cracker in that genre, and the Ori games are on Game Pass if you have that particular subscription.

My podcast, The Generic Acronym Podcast Podcast, is doing its end of the year/game of the year wrap-up spectacular later this week, I don’t know how long it will take for Luke to edit it, but you should be able to listen to it soon. If you’re not yet subscribed, head to https://thegapodcast.com/ to get on it!

Writing Update

A writing update! My novel, Till The Heavens Burst, is with its editor now! I’ve worked with him before, he’s a spectacular editor, has a great eye for creative writing and he’s never edited a novel before so that will be a fun journey for both of us. That will take as long as it takes, but I will keep you posted!

My other story is coming along nicely. I have talked to some people to get a proper grasp on how to respectfully treat the source material, and writing on it is in full swing! It is not fanfiction, and it has nothing to do with any pre-existing properties. It’s just a cool story about something happening in Australia that may take inspiration from one of my favourite films of all time. I am very excited to share it with you, maybe sooner than you think!

* This is a joke. I do not advocate the murder of anyone. Everything before the Prince of Persia stuff is not to be taken seriously, actually. I mean I do hate my upstairs neighbours but the rest of it is tonguing some cheeks if you know what I mean.**

** I do not mean eating ass.